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Writer's pictureBindu Pothalil

The Wild Masculine



He came to visit me one night,

Calling my attention from behind. I was neither conscious nor ready to meet Him.

I had been sleeping lightly, Having left all the worries of my life aside To welcome the restful night energy.

I was enjoying my world of dreams, When He slipped through the open door of my unconscious mind And appeared, out of the darkness of night,

and uninvited.



I felt a presence in my direct field, A tall black wild man lurking behind me,

Following me closer and closer.


For an unknown reason,

I was not able to turn and face him,

Perhaps I didn’t want to,

Hoping he would leave me alone

So I could continue my peaceful nightly wandering.



He did not want to leave,

Trying to catch my attention,

While I tried to turn it

to the meanderings of my subconscious mind.



His energy became more and more potent,

Breathing on my back, on my neck,

Penetrating my aura more deeply,

becoming closer than my own shadow,

Trying to enter under my skin,

While exuding a fragrance of wild dark unknown.



The growing intimacy invaded more and more my space.

I started sensing some black magic spell

Entering and paralyzing my being.

The wild black masculine possessed my being. His breath became fast and growling with rage.

Suddenly, his hands grabbed my neck, Strangling me from behind.

I woke up!


In the blink of a moment,

The black wild man disappeared

And I was back in the realm of form.



The night was immersed in a deep silence.

I tasted with relief my awake reality.



Then, just as the arms of Morpheus began to embrace me, I felt a movement in my bed.


The wild masculine had not gone.


Determined to make himself heard,

He manifested in my partner’s dream consciousness,

Where once again, he tried to kill me.

But this time he faced another adversary.

I was protected by my man.



The wild black man left, but not defeated,

Giving me only a few hours rest.



The meeting was not over.

During the day, The wild masculine showed up as a shadow in my thoughts,

His dormant energy rising to my consciousness and in my breaths.

Breathing deeper and deeper, I again felt his presence. My throat tightened. I was frightened by his power of destruction. Supported by my breath, I accepted his invitation

And explored the space behind me, Touching and feeling with my hands. Slowly, slowly a spontaneous dance emerged from this meeting.

My fingers intertwining with the density of the space behind my back.


Shyly, I accept a closer contact between the wild masculine and my back. A lover’s dance took birth, Waving, undulating movement of my back

Feeling the breath of the wild unknown masculine.

A shift happened

And open space for trust. My back relaxed and was moved by the wild masculine energy

Dancing, fully supported till My spine became a snake Manifesting A Spontaneous undulating movement.


This was an initiation with the lost wild masculine,

The most powerful and primal force,

I ever met. This time, I was ready to make space for him. The wild masculine found back his throne in my being,

Always in my back to support me.




Bindu

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